#i’m just. SO emotional about the ghost family 😭😭😭

[latenightbreezeinheaven]

Solar return chart observations (2019)

Scorpio rising at 29 degrees

🌪️That year was my most traumatic year.

🌪️There were countless transformations (mostly endings and also new life-changing beginnings) in that year.

🌪️I lost many friends. I got gossiped by the whole class. The whole class didn’t talk to me. I was slut-shamed and they even spread rumors about me being pregnant while I was just gaining some weight. I was notorious with bad reputation in my school. My first love left me. I tried to run away with my first love. My parents caught me and grounded me for several months. I was literally in solitude. I had no one by my side. Both emotionally and physically. I can even write a whole damn book about this year.😭

🌪️However, I learned how to stay alone happily in that year. (It was not an option. The universe was like BAM you need to encounter THIS to achieve THIS success or whatsoever😃).

🌪️My whole personality before and after that year was so different that no one couldn’t recognize me after that year when I went back to school.

Moon in 1st house conjuncts ascendant (in Sagittarius at 0 degrees)

🌪️Maybe due to these traumatic events, my emotions were running high all the time.

🌪️Even though I tried to hide my pain and act like a typical scary silent scorpio rising, people still attacked me because I looked so vulnerable.

🌪️I cried almost everyday in that year.

🌪️Also I gained weight like A LOT MY FACE WAS LIKE AN ENORMOUS MEAT DUMPLING👹👹👹

**I also notice that I gained weight so easily last year when I had scorpio rising even though my moon was in 7th house in Taurus. Might be because of Taurus moon but Idk, scorpio rising year scares me hell a lot now.😺**

Jupiter in 1st house (in Sagittarius at 18 degrees)

🌪️I gained tons of weight because of my only coping mechanism : binge eating and also due to covid and quarantine.

🌪️I felt like food was the only escape in my life and I gained like 60 lbs.🤦🏻‍♀️

🌪️However, I had lucky academic opportunities.

🌪️I had to change my tuition because everyone including the teachers slut-shamed me and only because of that transformation, I finished high school with high marks and now I’m in medical school.

🌪️Thanks to my new teachers from new tuition and also those stupid bitches who believed everything they heard without clearly thinking as grown-up adults.😍

Saturn conjunct Pluto in 2nd house (in Capricorn)

🌪️My self-esteem declined so low that I rarely even went out in that year.

🌪️I felt like no one wanted me and I questioned about my worth like thousand times.

🌪️Throughout the year, transformations related to self-worth and self-love questioned my existence.

🌪️I was always thinking like “do I even deserve to eat this or go to this or be friends with them?” every damn time my mom asked me what I needed and every time someone approached me.

Neptune and Lilith in 4th house (in Pisces)

🌪️My whole family was very confused about me.

🌪️They even thought I was possessed by some ghost because I acted very unusual eg I couldn’t control my anger and I kinda self-sabotaged and I just bursted out and cried so suddenly when I was at home (that was just my trauma response I mean I don’t really know how they expected me to act after all those punishment they gave me and personal attacks received from my ex-mates)😺.

🌪️My parents kept really close eyes on me because they were worried that I would commit su-ici-de and they also had their respective assumptions about me but at the same time, they also outcasted me and thought I was really a slut who slept with lots of men because I did many reckless things without thinking about consequences.

🌪️I also often had intense vivid dreams and nightmares.

🌪️I was addicted to vapes and used them secretly in my room in that year.

🌪️So effed up🔫

Chiron in 5th house (in Aries)

🌪️My first love broke my heart.

🌪️My first serious heartbreak.

🌪️I had to take about 9 months to fully move on from him.

🌪️My inner child got hurt and my creativity and self-expression left my soul in that year.

🌪️I lost my silly child-like spirit in that year.

Uranus in 6th house (in Taurus at 5 degrees)

🌪️At first I was planning to study really hard to prepare for my matriculation exam but due to covid, there were huge unexpected changes in my routines and habits.

🌪️My plans got ruined.

Venus in 7th house conjuncts Amor (in Gemini)

🌪️Amor asteroid represents soulmate.

🌪️I met my first love and fell in love with him like a fool.

🌪️Everyone warned me because they saw red flags🚩🚩🚩🚩but I was blindly in love and was like “I’m gonna marry him”😭😭.*dies of embarrassment*

🌪️That was my first time that I gave actual commitment to someone and I felt like he was my soulmate.

🌪️I couldn’t let go of him for so long.

🌪️I wrote songs about him.

🌪️I wrote short stories about him.

🌪️It was bitter-sweet but now it’s just a memory.🌌

Sun in 7th house (in Gemini)

🌪️My main focus was on relationships relationships RELATIONSHIPS and I strongly desired to build meaningful social connections rather than superficial ones in that year.

🌪️My hidden enemies also pulled their masks off lmao I had to deal with them the whole year because they kept saying things about me that I didn’t even know I did.😩

Mercury conjunct mars in 8th house (in Cancer)

🌪️I remember that I was fully in my hermit mode the year I had this placement.

🌪️I searched articles about how to attack those arseholes spiritually but didn’t really take an action because I believed in karma.🧘🏻‍♀️

🌪️I was always reading books about magic, detective, occult and death and I even thought about committing a su-ici-de because I was severely depressed.

🌪️I was alone but also so blunt (I think I was just trying to protect myself) every time someone tried to befriend me.

🌪️I cursed a lot and my anger issues were like high up in the sky that one time, the wall cracked because I punched while I was angry and I’m just A GIRL🎀💕🥰).

Vertex in 9th house (in Leo at 15 degrees)

🌪️Maybe because of all of this, I started to pray to Buddha every single day in that year.

🌪️I suddenly became so religious and I felt like I only had him by my side.

🌪️My beliefs about religion expanded and I started to learn about other religions too in that year.

🌪️Also fated events occurred at my school so yeah vertex can say a lot about your upcoming year.

🌪️Immediately CHECK YOUR VERTEX IN YOUR SOLAR RETURN CHART RIGHT NOW!!!🥱

My scorpio ascendant was in my natal 5th house

🌪️My main focus was on relationships and dating as I’ve already said.

🌪️I also think I was so fertile in that year or maybe horny?

🌪️I wanted to get pregnant with my first love and I was only 14 at that time💀💀💀 (I know I was so silly but I was just a kid so I forgive myself for that *dies of embarrassment again*).

🌪️Sex education and vapes and drugs might be normal for teenagers in western countries but in my country, they’re like really taboo topics and parents biggest nightmare was their drug addict children getting pregnant😭.

🌪️Almost everyone did not dare to discuss about those openly in those days.

🌪️Also I was just 14 at that time so it’s not my parents’ fault that they stopped me and restricted me too much but however, their punishment was directed in a wrong way and that’s why I had to find other ways to suppress my pain. I don’t know who to blame, myself or those so-called friends or my parents😭.

So in conclusion, it was a very hard year and very life-changing and unforgettable but it shaped me into who I am today so I’m really happy to receive all of those new experiences. English is not my first language so please bear with me if I made some mistakes.🫰🏼💕

Also you can ask me about two placements (maximum) you want from your solar return chart. I’ll answer them as soon as I get free time.❤️

My mood in 2019 as GIF be like:

[xiuminsmygrandpa]

I’m devastated that Dead Boy Detectives for many reasons but mostly because every characters story, even the side characters is left open. If there ever was a second season this is what I’d love to see

Niko coming back as a ghost or some other supernatural being and her and Charles bonding over accepting that they are dead. Especially because in season one Charles is forced to confront both his abusive father and being beaten to death. He repressed those memories for 30 years because they were too painful for him. And Niko did the same thing with her father’s death and the mistakes she made while she was alive. Plus I’d just love to see the two of them become friends.

On the flip side I see the other focus on Crystal and Edwin also confronting their pasts. While Charles and Niko struggle with confronting their deaths Edwin needs to accept he was a living being at one point. And now that Crystal has her memories back she will have to reconnect with her past self. I’d love to see her and Edwin bonding over being from families with money and neglectful parents and fearing they deserved the punishments they received. Plus I wanna see more of them bicker like the siblings they are! Maybe we get to see more of Edwin’s family and life when he was alive because it’s basically nonexistent in season one!

Charles realizing his feelings for Edwin are more than platonic now that he knows Edwin likes him and Charles and Edwin becoming more comfortable with being closer physically. Just like Edwin had a sexuality crisis in season one I see Charles also having a sexuality crisis in season two. Luckily he has three girl friends who are all super openly queer.

Edwin going thru his hoe phase but struggling to form emotional connections with his sexual partners because he loves Charles and Charles wanting to be supportive but also being down bad for him. And Edwin potentially confiding in Charles??

Charles and Crystal trying to make a relationship work but realizing pretty quickly they’re not compatible. I do think the season ended with them being in a quasi relationship and I see it dragging out a bit longer because neither of them is ready to let go.

Edwin going to Jenny for relationship advice and her actually giving decent advice. I feel like most fanon assumes he’d go to Niko but I honestly don’t think Niko feels comfy giving relationship advice after the disaster that was Jenny’s date from Hell. I do see both of them possibly tag teaming relationship advice for Edwin. I could also see him confiding in Crystal since they’re already bonding over their shared trauma.

I also see Charles venting to literally everyone but Edwin about his feelings because he’s having a sexuality crisis and confronting his past trauma at the same time. Charles being 100000% jealous of every guy Edwin’s been with and judging whether they’re actually a good match for Edwin. He will be the bestie who’s like “I’m so happy for you” and Edwin being like “then why are you crying” “these are happy tears mate🥺😭”

Edwin and Charles finally having a conversation about the staircase and Edwin realizing Charles only said he wasn’t in love because he wanted to wait until he knew for sure. And both of them admitting they don’t feel like they’re good enough to be what the other one needs.

As for the side characters, I wanna see Jenny finally get a gf in London and become a butcher for both the living and the dead. I want tragic mic to finally become a walrus again because he’s been thru it. This probs won’t happen but Monty coming back and him and Charles bonding over their shared jealousy of Edwin and maybe hate fucking?

This is a long shot but it would be so cool to see Desire and Charles especially when Charles realizes he’s a chaotic bisexual. And Despair and Edwin because I can see them being a disastrous duo.

And lastly death finally meets the dead boy detectives!!

[accio-victuuri]

Somebody Else’s Arms : Timeline + Analysis ✍🏻 and a tiny bit of clowning…

as what the title of this post says, let’s talk about this song and everything that goes with it. i didn’t expect him to actually do something like this but i’m not mad about it. there were already some rumors about it before the release, which personally didn’t come by my weibo feed so as soon as the poster teaser was out, everyone had their own thoughts:

1. It might be related to intercross, because of the water imagery and angsty title.

2. It’s a song he bought and at the time people were pointing to an existing track by cool heads prevail. and others were saying it may just be the same name.

3. some cpfs getting nervous cause it seems to be a breakup song, as if you all didn’t know he and xz love bittersweet songs!

4. connected to #2 cause a cpf station sister commented on this song before we knew anything like she had an idea that this will be performed all along.

AND NOW THAT THE WE HAVE LISTENED TO IT, it is a completely different one from the track people were referring to. oh well. rumors are rumors.

yibo-official first released the teaser for it at 16:00 which to me relates to the “fact” that 16 is bobo’s favorite number. also the play on words and how they associate with each other is so interesting SEA = somebody else’s arms then using that as an overall theme like deep in the sea. not to be that person — but it’s so xiao zhan.

then the hair reminded people of his style @ tencent starlight in 2019 with xz. but i have to say, when the douyin video was released, it made more sense because of the 80s vibe he ( along with other yh family stars ) was going for. the clothes and the hair definitely complete the look. i mean come on, he already had the vincent vega hair.

the similarity in the caption, once again! xzs 🤝 ybo

Now let’s move on the song itself ⬇️⬇️⬇️

i can only find information on this songwriter, so i guess it’s true that he bought it. the lyrics is actually giving ghost by justin bieber which is a personal fave. it’s like acknowledging you love someone but they are gone now. also it’s interesting that he chose an english song! i’m gonna be a totally delusional fan here and think that this is because he is becoming more and more popular with the international stage so he chose this to connect more.

the choreography is also by his fave Franklin Yu who also did the dance for Rules of My World and Burn It All Down. backed up by Made in V which is a usual group that collaborates with him and XZ. 💚❤️

i think we are all surprised cause it’s in ENGLISH. like i understand if the chorus is, but as a whole. wow.

You're still in my heart

But you're in somebody else arms

You are still in my mind

But you are in somebody else's life

A part of you got left inside my chest

I try and I try to forget

You are still in my heart

But you are in somebody else arms

Memories that we said we made

Memories I can't never let go

How do they torture me the same

Memories that we won't even know

Let me out

Na na na oh My love my love

Na na na oh Let me out

Na na na oh My love my love

A part of you got left inside my chest

I try and I try to forget

You are still in my heart

But you are in somebody else arms somebody else arms

the lyrics are so heartbreaking 💔 and as i said, something we know will appeal to yibo. and as an artist, or any kind of creative i feel like this kind of emotion connects well to the audience. it’s the perfect choice! but that doesn’t mean it don’t hurt!

i know there might be some part of the fandom who will look at this and be like — oh they broke up! “see how sad his face was performing?!” and well.. dude, he is performing this song and singing those lyrics.. what should he do? smile? lol. his dance is an interpretation of it, did you see that bit where he was alone and everyone had partners? In the meantime he was all alone and cradling no one 😭😭😭

it’s a performance. no matter how much we think everything has a personal connection.

anyway, it’s beautiful. his voice is amazing. i’m just imagining xz totally lovin this song and putting this on repeat! 🎧

and oh, the style of his clothes look like there are XX on it. hahahaha! a CPN fave!

DISCLAIMER: this is all the information available at the time of writing. I will post separate ones if ever new information comes out related to this song. 🎶

[hyperfixiation-station]

Sorry, I meant Ghost in a fight/discussion with reader 😭 Still, I did love your take

CW: Fighting, emotional abuse, light swearing I am so sorry anon 😭😭 I am literally the dumbest person to have ever existed lmaooo Also apologies for length, I am moving and wanted to get you something cause I'm not sure when I'll be able to post again. To whoever asked, I am making a pt.2 so send me an ask if you want to be notified :)

As always, no beta, please lmk of any mistakes!!

A lot of ‘fights’ you guys have are one sided, where you concede quickly, not wanting to argue, and he just keeps going and going. He, like a lot of ND’s, gets a thrill from fighting, and he will pick fights about everything. You just disagree once with what he says and he goes off.

Fem!Reader: Anytime he is upset/angry with you/thinks you are disrespecting or ignoring him, he'll call you 'woman'. 

"I'm still talking woman!" "Watch your mouth woman" "Woman I am talking!" 

He does not love bomb. He does not come after arguing with you with flowers and chocolates and showering you with love to make up for it. 

Don’t get me wrong, this man does bring you flowers, just not to make you feel better after a fight. He’ll get you flowers for valentines day and your birthday and your anniversary and any time he feels like you deserve flowers, but he does not give them to you after fights. 

And you guys don’t fight too often. At least, not fights where he feels bad and has lingering guilt. Very rarely will he realize(or at least admit) That he was wrong, especially not in front of your kids, if you guys have them. However, if he does realize and admit he is wrong(typically after you sleep in a different room or don’t talk to him except for the bare minimum) he will apologize in private.

One very memorable fight for you was back in the early days of your relationship, just after you had started living together. He had left his gear just piled on the front table, and you had folded it and moved it to the bedroom so that it wasn’t cluttering up the front room. He came home and, well, freaked. He screamed at you, punched a hole through a door, and you still remember him telling you ‘Go to hell then woman” when you said you had just wanted the space to be clear. 

He gets pissed off about the stupidest stuff. Your guy's 10-year-old daughter bought a Stanley? He’s mocking him for the next 3 weeks about wanting to be popular. Your teenage-daughter wears ripped jeans to a concert? He’s telling everyone about how she must have bought them at half-price since so much cloth is missing. 

One interesting thing is that he respects fighting back, to an extent. You watched in borderline horror as your eldest got into a screaming match with him that lasted hours and ended with no victor. And yet, since that day, you’ve never seen Simon scream at them again. 

Hearing this, he sounds toxic, yeah? And he is, to an extent. But you stay with him because he knows he has issues, and he actively works on bettering himself. You’ve been with him for a decade now, and you can see so many differences in the way that he acts. He no longer screams and throws things and punches holes in the walls. He is more willing to admit when he is wrong, hell, there's even been a few times when he’s said sorry in front of your kids. 

You understand his trauma, you understand why he responds and acts the way he does, and most importantly He does too, and he is working on bettering himself for his family, because he loves you, and he hates that his explosive reactions hurt you and your kids.

I am going to make a pt. 2 to this so that I can go more in depth, but again, I’m moving and not sure when I will be able to post again so I wanted to at least give you something. lmk what ya'll think :)) ALSO: If you think I am mischaracterizing Ghost please let me know, and I will either explain my reasonings or you will change how I think of him. Either way, I would like to know yalls thoughts so please do not hesitate to say something

[astropookie]

Astro observations bc it turned into one ⭕️

Pinterest

I’m fucking trying to do a short post again but my overthinking powers are gaining me. I fucking hate myself, this post was supposed to be a family astro observation post and then I turned it into a moon sign post and then into an astro observation post, and you know what?! IT’S MARVELOUS OKAY

Disclaimer: we have to imagine everyone has a functional family 🤩

Taurus moon child tends to be the mommas kid. They just love the comfort in those hugs, it gives them peace or certainly a mom-son moment. They could (would) appreciate it daily. (sorry for those motherless taurus moons)

The Gemini moon kid ALWAYS have a mom that is not certain a mom, they don’t fit in the prototype of a traditional mom. The mom of these children are working, or hate doing stuff like buying school material for their children, they could not even listen to their kids when they’re talking…I don’t fucking know too specific I know I feel like the kid could have felt that the mom was in her own world, thinking and thinking, spacing out, that they couldn’t relay on them, sometimes.

Aquarius mercury 12H kid please just shut the fuck up. Well I mean, don’t but yes. First, yes because you have so many reasons to speak out. About the things that you perceive (too much bb, you’re like a sponge😭), the injustice, etc., also about the introspection you have done and the very strong emotional depth you have to deal with but you don’t want to and let almost nobody know about it blablabla … Everything is peaceful and harmonious until you decide that the best way to approach is to be taken by your impulses and the strong emotions you feel, to finally speak out. Aquarius mercuries always think they’re right, so stubborn, will think that their idea is better. It could be so hurtful to others, the words you say without thinking how it would affect them. Winning an argument is not always satisfactory. You have to know, I’m just saying 😟🤭 Please, take a deep breath and repeat with me: “I have the ability to control myself, open my mind and see that even if I’m suffering and feel TOO MUCH it hurts, it doesn’t mean I have the right to hurt others with my actions and CERTAINLY words. It’s important to prepare or think what I’m about to call out, because nobody it’s going to take me serious if I yell uncontrollably”. Poor parents (not true fuck them no lie no fuck them like yes but no), everything is injustice, the way they treat you, blablabla etc. (I’m not a fan of supporting parents) I was going to turn this into a child observation and I deviate from the topic. Kill me please. omfg I’m so dramatic.

People with Gemini rising are SO OVERTHINKERS, THEY THINK TOO MUCH. I know it’s too obvious okay? They’re so logical, they think twice, not twice, 462946 times before doing something “risky” (that’s not even risky, for me at least). If I said “Do it for the experience”, they’re not going to deny the idea at first, but they’re going to stay forever in their minds and think if it’s a good idea, the pros the cons, the people, environment, etc. everything you could imagine. They’re gonna be like “I don’t knooow”, and start making questions about the plan. They take their time. And the more they think the more pessimist they turn and finally they’re gonna decline. They are going to ghost you or take a pause or not going to confirm. But these implies only and most if you ask them out or on an event situation, something that has to do with changing environment or simply take them out of their house.

Not in the way Libras sun do, they meditate the idea to make the best decision -I’m not saying Gemini risings don’t do that-, and they could be so indecisive in routine questions, like if they ask them “what do you want? chocolate milk or normal milk?” or “Should I put these pants or these ones?” I’m the libra sun I DONT FUCKING KNOW OKAY? IM IN MY FUCKING MIND AND I HAVE TO DRESS THE WAY I FEEL AND THE OCCASION OF COURSE AND THE…😭PLEASE HELP ME

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

•This is based on my personal experience.

•English is not my first language.

•I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

[14th-century-verona-queer]

Okay so i have NEVER (and i mean NEVER) watched TUA, but my wonderful and amazing friend @aroacebooknerd is a huge fan and quite genuinely 99.9% of what they’ve posted recently has been reblogs of people who are angry about the S4 ending and the character assassination of Five

so here’s basically what I know about season four (and TUA in general):

TUA fans: Oh boy! I can’t wait for the season 4 finale, we’re finally gonna get closure! I’m hoping all the characters will finally be happy and something with marigolds will happen! TUA director (i think): uhm actually no we’re going to give this practically cannon aroace character a love interest and make him a homewrecker! That’s what you guys wanted right? TUA fans: *unintelligible screeching and angry noises*

So heres what i know:

Marigolds?? Those are important for the ending for some reason

a man named Klaus who sets off my gaydar and smth abt him being a stripper? (He’s like my queen Dan wildes, pop off king)

Five (I I still don’t know why he’s named after a number?) is somehow like 75 but also 18

This woman named..uh I forget, but her actors name is Rita I think and apparently she’s like 34 and agreed to cheat on her loving husband (who’s five’s brother) with five. this is so potent with the stench of pedophilia. this is so not okay. you can’t just be like “oh but he’s 18 so he’s legal so it’s okay!” Like NO SIR THATS NOT OKAY

apparently they waited for fives actor to be like 18 before they forced him to kiss Rita or wtv??? like…that is illegal sir? or if it’s not it should be?? Wtf??

I saw a picture of the kiss that happened between them and I started genuinely BURSTING OUT LAUGHING. and not in the “haha that’s hilarious!” Way but in the “HAHA OMFG THIS IS SO NOT FUNNY AND STUPID” way. Like. that kiss looked so uncomfortable. you can TELL that five’s actor is uncomfortable. wtf guys.

the trans guys voice got deeper!! that’s so good for him!! we love seeing representation of trans people and their journeys through transitioning (or not if they don’t choose to, but the emotional journey they partake in)!!

we’re sad abt a woman named Sloan for some reason

S1 Allison and Luther (I have no idea who they are) was uncomfortable

one of the main guys has like a kill count of the entire population of the fucking planet. Apparently his powers are like..out of control and he killed everyone?? …how….i have so many questions and i know that none will be answered

theres like five main characters and they are all apparently siblings. So i guess SOMEONE was getting dicked down good

SOMETHING ABOUT SOMEONE WITH A MONKEY BODY

theres a guy that’s a ghost..i think his power was like Painful As Fuck™️

I think there was a kraken involved at some point?

It’s giving found-family aftg vibes but also not ( nothing could ever compare to my beloved aftg)

i tHink they’re all like assassins?

There’s something about their being normal versions of them, and then Sparrow versions on them? What?

something about a mannequin and how Five really likes said mannequin

fives character was assassinated bc he would always choose his family over himself and that’s not what he did in the finale

they all end up dying in the end, no closure is given, everyone is angry, Obama has packed up his stuff and is NOT there

Yea, thats pretty much all I know

Which is..not much

I am still VERY confused the more i look at this list

Feel free to reblog this or whatever to just rage about the season 4 finale bc from what I understand it was SHIT

I was considering watching the show before but like..do i even want to at this point?

I don’t wanna fall in love with the show knowing that THIS SHIT is gonna happen

I deeply empathize with all the TUA fans. I feel so bad for y’all 😭

[gunnrblze]

Mayhaps Ghosts as Mitski songs if you’re up to that..?

Absolutely anon! Basing these mainly off lyrics tbh because I really fw Mitski’s beautifully heart shattering, emotionally compromising lyrics ≧◡≦

Hesh- I Bet on Losing Dogs (“my baby, my baby. You’re my baby, say it to me. Baby, my baby. Tell your baby that I’m your baby”, “I’ll be there on their side, I’m losing by their side” YEOWCHHH! Talk about the family dynamic there😁 IM CRYING!)

Logan- First Love/Late Spring (“and I was so young when I behaved 25, yet now I find I’ve grown into a tall child” stop actually. they grew up too fast)

Elias- Brand New City (hear me out I’m just getting the vibe. “I think my fate is losing its patience, I think the ground is pulling me down, I think my life is losing momentum, I think my ways are wearing me down”. This old man omg😭)

Merrick- Abbey (“I am something, I have been something, I was born something, what could I be?”, “there is a dream that I sometimes see, that only appears in the dark of sleep” this very much just feels like him to me)

Keegan- Francis Forever (It’s giving him and Ajax tbh (and also Hesh and Logan, it was hard to decide) “I end up on a tree lined street, I look up at the gaps of sunlight, I miss you more than anything. I don’t need the world to see that I’ve been the best I can be but, I don’t think I can stand to be where you don’t see me” EMOTIONAL ALERT!)

Kick- My Love Mine All Mine (this definitely feels like him, at least how I imagine him hehe. “Moon, tell me if I could, send up my heart to you? So when I die, which I must do, could it shine down here with you?”, “Nothing in the world belongs to me. But my love mine, all mine, all mine”)

Rorke- I’m Your Man (yes this is entirely about him and Elias to me. “You’re an angel, im a dog. Or you’re a dog and I’m your man. You believe me like a god, I’ll destroy you like i am. I’m sorry I’m the one you love, no one will ever love me like you again”. “you believe me like a god, I’ll betray you like a man” HELLOOOO?!,&?,!)

[karebear923]

I literally just finished Peaceful Property

Initial thoughts on the ending:

Personally, I loved it!! I watched it for Tay and New and the ghost hunting crew, and it was a happy ending!!

I was so mad at uncle Kid when he said he never loved Home! I knew right away during his flashbacks that his dad did love him and he just never saw it! So when Home revealed it I wasn’t surprised but I was happy that he got to know that information and he can dwell on it in jail.

I always knew the grandpa loved his family though (despite everything), so I’m happy he and Home got to have that final conversation (and him squeezing his boob was funny 🤭). I also cried seeing Home do his dance at his gramps’ funeral 🥺😭

I’m happy that everyone got a happy ending together! Peach gets his restaurant where he can cook whatever he wants for people. Pangpang gets to keep being an influencer and see her brother thrive. Suradech gets to stay with his kids. Kan gets to stay with her friends, and I believe she’ll keep her lawyer job and keep fighting for justice too. And Home gets his family and happiness and place of belonging!

Part of me is like “dang we didn’t get HomePeach confirmation” but the other part of me is like “yeah but it’s definitely there” and I can just picture them being more flirty in the future and eventually getting together! 😁🥰

All in all I had a great time watching it!! Every episode was funny, surprising, emotional, and I loved freaking out about it every week!! It left me with good feels and I’ll definitely miss this show 🥲

I’m sorry I’m not the type to delve into the nuances and deeper meanings and cultural/political messages of shows so I can’t/won’t comment on it’s depiction of class disparity or anything like that. I’m just here for the feels, and I got lots of those!

[least-carpet]

Pursued by lesser ghosts 😭😭😭😭 are they gonna figure it out. Let JC in there

Hello, anon! Perhaps I will also link Pursued by Lesser Ghosts for context, since it took me so long to answer this ask. (You do need an AO3 account to read it.) It's wangxian with left zhanchengxian. Left in the sense that both chengxian and zhancheng had previously occurred, and they have left Jiang Cheng behind! (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

In my heart, they figure it out, but I’m never going to write that because they are all in WILDLY different places and that would take... so long. This is partly what makes it interesting to rotate to me, because I think it’s a situation where the way any of the people involved would describe the facts in a relatively similar and nonchalant way, but their intellectual frameworks for the facts and emotional experience of the facts are so wildly disconnected that getting all three on the same page would be, uh, challenging. Rough character notes below.

Wei Wuxian:

Feels like JC should be mad at him, since he projects guilt about JYL already on to JC. additionally hates JFM’s treatment of JC but in total denial about both what the treatment means and how he feels about it. LWJ’s rejection and replacement of JC with WWX is going to trigger all of that BECAUSE it brings WWX's past understanding of JC into conflict with his current understanding of JC.

In the past, WWX’s JC feelings were positive; therefore any negative treatment by JFM had to be denied (and also Fixed by WWX).

WWX’s JC feelings are now negative, partly because of the projection and self-blame, and partly because of ongoing resentment about the core transfer (VERY traumatic plus the feeling like that degree of devotion and sacrifice was not reciprocated).

The emotional experience of REPLACING JC AGAIN is an experience that belongs to WWX’s childhood self, who loved JC and was extremely possessive and protective of him (the JZX beatdown was triggered finally by the insult about JC).

Also triggers memories of childhood > adulthood intimacies (some degree of sexual contact as teenagers that both of them “forgot about”).

WWX also terminally unable to leave shit alone, and now there’s a mystery about HIS HUSBAND and HIS SHIDI.

LWJ is just like “oh we had sex sometimes” but JC is a prude who doesn’t do that and only lets WWX touch him??? This is not a sufficient answer for WWX??? [meltdown]

CONFLICT CONFLICT CONFLICT KABOOM

Jiang Cheng:

I mean, Mr. Abandonment and Betrayal Issues got some feedback about what had happened, and that feedback was “it was duty, I never loved you like you loved me, let me go” (WWX) PLUS “now that the person who is better than you, who I really love, is here, I will replace you with him and never look back because you are Bad” (LWJ).

On one hand, closure! On the other hand, what if every childhood belief and fear about yourself all came true at once? Wouldn't that be fun? (I mean, the ones which had not already happened and left most of your family dead.)

Like he worked so hard to be good for love (root of childhood issues -> “if I am very good maybe dad will love me eventually and mom will finally be happy”) and this functions as proof that it has NEVER culminated in that love being returned.

I also don’t know how much he was aware of LWJ’s fixation on WWX before/during the time they were sleeping together. how blindsided he feels would change depending on that.

Also will blame himself for it (see childhood coping mechanisms… so abandonment by LWJ is “his fault” because he “should have expected it”).

He is. He is not doing so good. Genuinely bad to contemplate and I don’t know how you fix that, like, degree of damage.

He also Never Gives Up and JL is still alive so he’s not going to kill himself but like. it ain’t good.

Lan Wangji:

To me, this is the chewiest problem. Because he has these rigid categories of “good” and “bad” but is also missing a lot of information about what happened between JC and WWX (such as the fake fight/removal from the sect), he's made up his mind but it's based on incomplete information.

Also like, he's not particularly empathetic (so questions like “how would you feel if someone you unconditionally trusted accidentally killed your beloved sibling?” are ones he has perhaps never contemplated?)

IMO this intersects in a pretty ugly way with his canon sadism during the period he has a sexual relationship with JC. I would have to make some decisions about how bad that was, but I don’t think it’s good. I think JC goes along with it partly as a form of self-harm and partly because JC is under a lot of stress, touch-starved, and is genuinely pretty submissive in bed? But has no standards about it (healthy!) and doesn't know how to protect himself.

Initially this is fine to LWJ because it “doesn’t count” and “JC is bad” so LWJ doesn’t have to feel bad about how he treats JC.

But if it was a multi-year intermittent thing, I think that might change? Because I don’t think LWJ is actually that cruel, just inflexible and not great at people.

So they hook up semi-often and LWJ perceives JC worrying about JL, about YMJ, and to some degree about him (offers him salve for his scars, inquires semi-rudely about family, feeds him thoughtful vegetarian foods when around each other) and they get comfortable and sometimes they spend the night together and LWJ gets a lot less mean but not any better at talking…

But even as their behaviours change, LWJ’s mental model doesn’t, so when WWX returns, he just, like, ditches JC without any discussion whatsoever.

And he gets everything he thought he wanted!! And he’s happy about a lot of it but feels Weird in a way that he can’t articulate or explain.

So to get him to the throuple, his whole understanding of what they were doing with each other and what JC’s behaviour signified would have to change. On the other hand, he is now married to the nosiest and most determined man in the world and that man is going to ask him a LOT of questions.

He just has SO far to go. I think both WWX and JC at least understand that a loss happened, but LWJ hasn’t worked that out yet. He's feeling it, but hasn't been able to articulate it to himself because of how it conflicts with his beliefs.

So getting them all to kiss would be really hard work. I think they do, though!

[eccentrcks]

WIP Wednesday

I’m pretty sure someone tagged me before @sergeiravenov, but I count find them in my notifications. 😭 anyways, thank you so much for the tag and I’ll do three pieces of my girls.

Gone Through Time

Marlene can still smell the stench of death through her nightmares and hallucinations. A rather familiarized smell, but that was something she hated. Especially if it involved him. I’m sorry, Anthony… she wanted to hold him close to her and apologize profusely for being the cause of his death.

“It wasn’t your fault.” His hallucination form would try to console her. It didn’t do much, in fact, seeing him this way just made it worse. Covered and blood with a metal shard shoved into his sternum. His bashed head caused from the impact of falling just made her go through a bad spiral as her PTSD was triggered badly.

She gagged so much after sobbing hard while yanking on her own hair. Even thrown back about five decades in the last, his ghost still follows her.

Her moments of pure vulnerability mostly happened in private. Completely overwhelmed after holding all of this pain in after repressing all of that grief and all.

Dane was right. Her eyes showed more grief and pain more than her face, she needed to keep this under control so no one can detect her true identity at the CIA. She didn’t had her antidepressants on her, not that they’ll do any help, yet the man insists she gets it together.

“Don’t let Adler catch onto you. He’s already suspicious enough. Just say the word and I’ll get one of our own to deter him off your tail.” He insists.

Marlene shook her head in refusal. “I can handle that asshole by myself, just… just let me do this. I’m sorry, it’s just a panic attack. I’ll make sure it won’t happen again.” She’s Mylene to them, not Marlene, they only see a typical linguist among them. Not the real her.

Dane bit his inside cheek and gave her a look when she said that. Something tells him that she’s telling that to herself instead of him.

The Collapses of Three Facades

Teresa felt numb when finding out that she was pregnant. She was already responsible for three lives who are so precious that were given to her by someone who genuinely trusted her. A part of her wasn’t sure who exactly the father is, but some part of her says she already knows.

Does it really matter at this point? They were nothing more than friends with benefits and both made sure that it was nothing more. Although Teresa was painfully aware that he wanted a big family of his own someday with someone whom he trusts and actually loves.

And she’s positive that it wasn’t her.

There was no room to get pregnant on this job. She was far from done and this revelation is nothing more than an obstacle. No one would approve of this, neither her mother, or them, and if they were to find out about her little escapees. He would be dead.

So no, Teresa knows this is way too risky for the two of them. Her soft brown eyes glanced at the box of morning after pills and gulped. Surely it won’t hurt that bad, won’t it? She can handle some bad cramps, but not the emotional impact of killing her own unborn baby.

Distortion and Clarity

Jane lost feeling to her fingers and continued scurrying away while cradling her left injured hand. Breathing heavily as she continuously looked over her shoulder.

Not sure if she can wear anymore rings after this.

Everything doesn’t feel right and it was suffocating her. She can feel herself twitching and almost hyperventilating. Everything was loud again. Michael wasn’t here to comfort her this time, no, she needs him, he always knew what to do compared to everyone else.

It wasn’t long before she slipped and fallen into a puddle of blood in the dark hallway…the texture was thick, that she almost gagged, and the clumps certainly didn’t helped her sensitive sensory, then she realizes there was more than just blood.

Jane was completely shaking when she lifted her bloodied hand to see hair tangled with her fingers and the sight was enough for her to actually vomit this time.

Tagging: @efingart, @revnah1406, @alypink, @adlerboi, @welldonekhushi, @walder-138, @alexxmason, @ravsbloodbunny, @starcrossedspirit, @rosebarry16, @kaitaiga, @sleepyconfusedpotato, and you 🫵 (the tag list is small because it won’t let be tag others for some reason-)

[princeguri66]

Hi! I don’t know if you are still doing requests or wanting to but I saw a post asking for writing ideas and I’ve been searching for a specific fic or just something to read. I don’t do this at all so I’m sorry if I get anything wrong really.

Further explanation on request below!

I’ve been searching for something along the lines of a poly141 x reader (+roach, I don’t know if you write him. The want and need for him is inhuman I swear but if you don’t it’s okay!) but then with the soulmate au. I have seen some but I haven’t seen a poly one yet and I’ve been craving for one. Starving. 😭

The ones that are floating around that I’ve read so far with cod and soulmate au goes around with names and colours, I have even seen a really good AleRuby x reader soulmate au one on AO3 with ‘the first words/sentece your soulmate says to you trope’ (I don’t know if h should say trope or if it is**) but I’ve been imagining a soulmate au where we have the reader who’s in the military getting these thoughts and emotions of her soulmates and just being confused as to why shes hearing IT GIRL (I fully believe Roach would listen cunty music and I fight for it) in one ear and being scolded in the other or even feeling the sudden emotion of anger or sadness or at times none at all.

I can see them just standing in there teams kitchen in front of a toaster butt ass in the morning, trying to eat only to be bombarded by emotions or thoughts. I can see them trying to get through a meeting but can’t focus because of one there soulmates it’s just pulling out the roast on someone just roast them and it being unhindged as hell or just once day they are trying to shower and suddenly.

“Oh my god, he fell out of the helicopter.”

“Oh my god. I fell out of the helicopter.”

Like, the reader who’s been trying the get the shampoo out of there eyes is just: 💀

All the while the 141 are completely clueless that they have a sixth to there group just out there hearing the latest gossip on a recruit about how they fucked an entire family tree without knowing they did. Just one day they are having a quiet morning and no one’s said anything and then they finally hear the reader and it’s just them thirsting.

“Like damn, I can go for a good fuck too.”

And there Ghost is telling Soap it’s way too fucking early to be thinking of that 🙄 and he’s like ‘no, no, that ain’t me.’ And everyone is also saying it’s not them so they are all just sitting or standing there taking in the information that there is, in fact, someone missing in the group. It’s just dawning on them that there are thoughts and emotions that have been looked over and through to be one of theres or someone else’s in the group.

Reader is over hear wanting to know how a recruit was even able to get with both the mother, father and the sister and brother even there grandma and still not find out years later like??? Drop the tea.

But make it better by just added the reader to the Shadow company, being Philip’s favourite soldier. where Graves is also just do his shit in his offices and reader is there. Complain about how there soulmates are out getting Burger King and they also want Burger King. Him having to put up with it and just like wondering how he can help his soldier at two in the morning while having to finish his papers.

“Okay, we’ll go get McDonalds.”

“Burger king!’

“No, it’s to far, McDonalds has the good smoothies I like.”

“Fine but we’re going in that pink jeep the shadows make for you then. Oh and we can wear our pink gear or outfits!”

“Absolutely not, we are taking the truck.”

“No. Pink jeep and you can listen to Red Solo cup by Toby Keith with your cowboy hat but you still need to wear your pink shirt tho.”

“Deal.”

Like, the poly141 group are just like: How did we even miss this???

And finally they figure they are just going to keep track on what they hear then they take notice of the very consistent themes.

“Yup Yup.”

Or even

“If he weren’t my Commander, I’d be owning his ass all night.”

And they haven’t the slightest clue on where to begin searching.

Until finally, they meet the shadow company and all they hear is: Yup Yup.

Ps. The whole soulmate: thoughts and emotions au, I figured to just make it so they can’t say each others or there names or even code names just to make finding each other harder.

LSST(TO PUT IT SHORT): Poly141 x reader soulmate au where they are hear each others thoughts and emotions and 141 who didn’t know about the reader find out they have a 6th lover by hearing them thirst for the commander aggressively 😔

I’m sorry if I got to specific, my imagination has been through the roof lmao. This doesn’t need to be done, don’t feel pressured to actually do this request if you don’t want to please. Thank you for your moment!

I would love to do this for you since it's such an incredible concept but I noticed you used "she/her" when explaining the reader and I exclusively write male/masc readers. Your idea sounds real solid so either you try writing yourself or go find someone who writes for fem readers. Good luck!

[ruminate88]

Emotional Barriers:

What is this wall between us??? I look at my husband and think “He has to be a good one. Look at the peaceful life I now have since I’ve met him.” I think he’s got so much potential and quality as a person… What’s this wall between us?

I remind myself how Cody would put up a wall with me and I would knock it down and beg him to trust me… 😔🥺 It never stopped him from rebuilding it and eventually he ghosted me. Then when I’m with Andrew, one minute he’s extremely intimate towards me without boundaries. Sending me selfies from his shower, not holding back anything but then randomly disappears for days. Totally shutting me out with no contact. I felt he kept me at an arms length most of the time accept when randomly he would “reward me” with letting me close again.

After I started to date my husband, not even a month later, Andrew is back trying to FaceTime me and I felt he didn’t want me to be happy with someone else yet, Andrew says he has a “girlfriend” and rubs it in. Posting about her on his social media hoping I’ll see it and be jealous of her. (I was but I just didn’t understand it all) I cried so much that I thought my new man/husband would dump me for still having feelings for my ex. He didn’t though!!! He asked me to marry him less than 6 months later and we were married within 10 months!!!! It all happened so fast!!!!!! I KNOW I had to marry fast to get away from Andrew, otherwise, I would’ve been right back into his web of lies. It’s been hard to shake him.

So I ask myself, “What’s this wall in my marriage and who put it there?” 😓😓😓 Why do I feel so distant and far from him, when he’s always right beside me and even talking to me. Sometimes he’s telling me things about his day and smiling at me. I see kindness and gentleness in his eyes. Everything I ever wanted and yet I’m overly frustrated becuase I don’t feel it!!!!!!! I get in bed with him and I feel safe. I feel like he’s not a toxic person I can tell the difference. Yet he’s so far away and I have zero desire. I just look at him and think “he’s got so much potential to be everything I’ve ever dreamt about but what if I’m wrong??? What if he’s tricking me like the rest?????” I feel safe yet I don’t because I watch his every move. I listen to his every word. It’s frustrating!!! I constantly overthink, over analyze and compare him🥴

All I ever wanted was a family. People want me to be a mom and I’m scared. What if my husband is just lying to me and what if I’m so full of trauma that I pass it on to my kids??? Am I gonna hurt my husband the way I’ve been hurt??? Am I gonna be a good mom or am I gonna hurt my kids?? (Even tho I raised my bro’s kids and they turned out) 😭😭😭 I can’t ever get Andrew out of my system even when I try really really hard NOT to think of him. He feels ingrained into every part of me!!!

My hands are cold but my heart is fighting to keep warm. I’m fighting to keep the fire going inside of me. I’ve come so far!!!! The fact it’s been all these years later and I’ve not tried to seek revenge on either Andrew or Cody (or Jake). Sure, I’ve been sharing my story and talking so much about them. It’s no secret that not everything I have to say is positive 😓 I’m sorry but I can’t help that!!! The relationships were negative despite me wanting them to be positive. The days I begged Cody not to shut me out that I loved him and wanted to help him. He continually manipulated me asking me “to fix him.” He said that so many times and I actually thought I could help…. I actually believed the lie that I could love Cody enough to take care of his heart but I was very very wrong!!!!!!

Not enough love or hope in my heart can change cody or Andrew. They will either change for someone or they won’t. Maybe they don’t believe they need to change… maybe they believe everything is just great?? Ok, sure. I won’t say they’re wrong. I’ll accept it if they believe nothing is wrong and that what we went through together was no big deal… I don’t want to ever argue with them cuz it’s not worth it to me to prove them wrong. However, after Cody ghosted me, I was soooooo numb and cold. Wow 😓💔 I never felt so isolated or dark in my life!! Was as if somebody shut all the lights off and froze my heart over…. It wasn’t till I met Andrew that I felt anything at all. Then Andrew only lit my heart on fire to use me up and when he was done with me, he blew the fire back out and made me cold again. 🥶

I’ve been fighting ever since!!!!!! Fighting not to be cold. Not to lose who I truly am. Not to lose love, forgiveness and hope. I won’t give up on myself or my dreams. My husband doesn’t deserve for this wall to be between us but he also doesn’t force it down. Either he just doesn’t see it or he doesn’t know what to do. (Or he doesn’t care but I don’t believe that) One day at time is all I can do moving forward ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[cdyssey]

The Fall of the House of Usher (1.01 Reactions)

Starting this show because everything I’ve seen about Tamerlane Usher specifically convinced me that there was a new overworked cringefail girlflop out there for me to adopt like a feral, little kitten.

“If pain and suffering were like the kiss of Jesus, then he kissed the loving fuck out of my mother.” AKWJEJEJW

OH, the actor who plays teen Madeline was young Shirley in HOHH.

These poor kids are burying their mother in a wooden box. 😭 Also, Bruce Greenwood’s voice is so stately and complicated, churching and churning like gravel. His voiceover as he recites “For Annie” is perfect.

Lol, it’s not a Poe story if someone wasn’t buried alive.

The shadow of Eliza moving in the background behind Dupin aughdnehshs. The way the dialogue makes you pay attention to what’s behind him so you can’t miss that ghost.

“That day was the last day we were all in the same place.”

And then the text flashing two weeks later is effective too. Six people dead within two weeks.

I’m sorry. I can’t take madeline’s bangs seriously. QKQKWMDNWN what. why

obsessed with how hot all of the usher children are. I’m sure they’re all human cesspools and everything, but they’re sure serving cunt in the courtroom

really appreciate the gravitas carl lumbly is bringing to auggie—whether it’s his righteous rage in the trial or his various reactions to Roderick in the living room. In the latter especially, he gets to embody so many complicated emotions: his disgust at roderick, his horror at what happened to the usher family, his reluctant curiosity as roderick goes on and on…

“I don’t think it can be true. If it is true, it’s Perry.” AQokqqkoqsk. Henry Thomas is wonderful.

Oh, god yeah. Tamerlane Usher is gonna do it for me. Love when women are ambitious and horrible and definitely have intergenerational trauma that they repress under a paper thin veneer of being put together: “I don’t give a shit about the world. I care about what my dad thinks.”

“Fuck Blippi.”

T’Nia Miller. Audhehwngnrnwjjwjejw.

“We just have to keep it away from Perry or it’ll end up in some co-ed’s drink.” ALL of the siblings have bagged on Perry so far. This line is so eurgh, though. Says a lot about who Perry is before we meet him in earnest.

Usher being so casually queer is wonderful.

the sibling introductions are doing a nice job of shading their definitely fatal flaws, lol.

PLUTO!! love a good black cat

“Hannity knows which side his dick is buttered on. He’ll be friendly.” GOD WKWNENSNSKN

“I want you to start with Perry obviously, but I don’t think he’s clever enough to keep it off TikTok.” AAfjwkwoama

Kate Siegel can murder me. Love the white hair.

The difference between present day Madeline and Roderick and their teenage counterparts is stark. They were jaded, yes, but they weren’t cold and callous, neglectful and disdaining.

“Freddie, marrying this woman might be the one thing you didn’t fuck up.” MAN WOQMWNWNDJJSNSSKA

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Freddie.”

Love the whole toxic family being together. <3

“Neutralized. Like dead.” WLQLQLQLQKDJNDNS. GOD

“I’ll have to sue the bloody puddle of gore in the designer shoes.” slay

“To the rest of you, happy hunting.” Fascinating and horrifying. The way the Ushers are so insular—they’re expected to defend the family, the company, with their lives, but Roderick also sees no problem with turning them against each other. Before they’re ever killed, they’re already cannibalizing themselves.

Roderick claims responsibility for all of the children’s deaths.

Carla Gugino is so hot aufhwikqlwkwkakwkw.

good on usher for playing with the incestuous vibes of the original story with Maddie and Rod. Fun and fucked up.

Madeline wearing sunglasses to the funeral is soooo Alqkqkwsmakma.

OH THE GHOSTS OF ALL SIX. SO FUCKED UP. AUOUGHDNDJS. AND THE LINE BEINg, “… the sweeping precipitancy of a fall from such a height.” YEAH

Lenore reaching out to place a hand on Roderick. 😭 also, bruce is so good in this. His agony as he looks upon all those condemning bodies and wounds is chilling

THAT FUCKING JESTER JUMPSCARE WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. GOD

yeah okay. I’m into this show QKQMQKQKKSN

[rainbowr0ses]

alright. I finally started Magnus Protocal- um. Below the cut is all the random notes/thoughts. None of the notes are serious, just me being silly :)

as soon as you keep reading it’ll be notes so- it starts at Alex’s starting note, and ends with Jon reading the credits.

Oh hi Alex, thanks for torturing my ears ig

oh that’s so spooky. It actually reminds me of little nightmares (I LOVE LITTLE NIGHTMARES)

JONNY (I want his voice and I get reminded of that every time)

Computer beep beep :3

Oh it’s printing

I love them. I heard their voice. 

Scottish man scary (silly)

I forget how I notice the accents, just- so apparently

I have no idea who is who, and I doubt I will until later. (It took me so long to differentiate Jon, Elias, and Tim-)

Was that person at the beginning Alex

Who??? Which of the women 😭😭😭 who is Alice and who is Gwen 

Why is the name is so wordy (lettering)

I love family dynamics- especially when it’s a joke

I have legit no idea what’s going on

C a k e

Oh spooky computer things 

Booting up pt. 2

I hate paperwork. 

Alice is so silly

WINDOWS- WHAT??????

Poor Colin

I- what the heck is the wrong with this computer

Static!

“Everythings legal in the government” (“everything is legal in Jersey”)

That- I’m getting flashbacks to every diatomaceous key I’ve read in science 

I hate this so much

This paperwork sucks

This is worse than school

JON NPC??? 

a year ago???? 🤨🤨🤨

Spooky. 

MOOOOOM Jon’s being spooky again

CHECKING IN?????????? (I hold checking OUT in my hands-)

Ooooo spooky statement time

A…. Cemetery (hey guys- hey guys. Wasn’t the first official Micheal meeting in a cemetery (or around one)??)

Preface, the random thoughts I have aren’t “THEORIES 😱😱” it’s just me being silly and writing down whatever comes to mind

The mechanisms messed with the name Author to me

Grave?

A figure-?

A wrong shape?????

I love that this an email-

Oh- so it’s giving stranger

Stranger and like- distortion vibes- but mainly stranger 

Impossible is my key word for distortion

It’s a lose-lose situation when you check something out. If you do? Your life’s ruined. If you don’t? Your life’s also ruined. There’s no way to escape. And the police don’t do anything-

I love the ai voice for the entire thing-

I LOVE GWENS VOICE

GWEN IS so MMMMMMMMMM

Lena-

Zombie

Elias Bouchard (but Jonah) vs. Jonah

I love sarcasm

I thought I broke my headphones from the-

THE HECK. ARE WE IN THE BATHROOM

YEA. COLIN IS SCARY. SOMEONE GETS IT

sip

Guys I don’t think we’re in the bathroom

CAMERA NOISES ME WHEN

e c h o e c h o

NINE!!

“A Holliday? 😐🤨”

“Im a vegetarian” me too, Colin

Type type noises

Guys I think Gwen is going to be my favorite character 

Spooky earth noises

JON JON JON JON JON JON AAAAAAAAA

I want his voice

Spelunking you say? 

I’m realizing that the earlier voice was Alex-

Magnus Institute spelunking????

H u h

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

NO NO NO NO DONT DONT DONT

AAAAAAAA THIS MAN IS GOIGN TO REGRET IT

it’s the calm ai voice-

Guys I know it’s like- Jon voice acting, but he’s breathing. You can HEAR breathing

“Really weird.” Yeah no duh. “Really weird” and the “Magnus institute” are practically synonyms at this point

This is- screaming- actually-

Paranoia? And the Magnus institute?? 🤨🤨

Hard time uploading things you say

I love how both series talks about a struggle with technology

Burnt down Magnus institute, you say?

“Tbh” 💀. I didn’t know I needed to here Jon say tbh till now

Cool vibe fr I agree

Ooooo spooky ghost

No doors

LIBRARY OR ARCHIVE?????????

ON THE FIRST LAYER

AAAAAAAAAAA

it burnt down. And there was nothing. At all.

Oh-?

Symbols? 

stains?

Huh-

Mmmmm

Back to the ai voice-

We were really getting emotional there

I-

IS HE INSIDE THIS? WHILE HES TEXTING THE FORUM??

oh lol no photo 

Old- wooden thing- wonder what that could be?

Damn- that’s real discourse for real

“Anymore”?

Oh damn the paranoia is getting to him now

OH I HATE THAT ICKY ICKY (I *hate* the idea that using a site is not how it’s actually preformed. Like receiving anonymous/private messages when *you shouldn’t be able to*)

Aggression?

bro is so casual

“Image removed by moderator”- giving tumblr fr- (silly, don’t kill me tumblr staff-) “Canaries should stay above ground”- that’s such a line. I- mmmmh. Jonny sims’ writing cooks in my brain

I- gross? The heck you mean gross

IS IT A BLOB OF EYES???

oooh emotion in the ai’s voice

I know it’s text-to-speech not ai, but it’s funnier to think of an ai voice going “are you alright 😨?” Than a text-to-speech voice (they’re similar, but there is definitely a different vibe)

Oh no. Not the temporary ban

“Thread locked by moderator” oh? What do the mods know?? It’s a valid question, and I doubt it went against any rule as it wasn’t even questioning the mods, only asking if someone is still banned to see if they’re okay. At least that’s most forum rules. In a normal situation, this would be really weird.

“So is Gwendolyn” IM DYING-

This is the like the most toxic/healthy work environment

Oh- funky audio?

Fine print. I feel like that’ll come back later. 

Ooh they’re so sappy

Oh tragic backstory

It’s giving Jon and Georgie (but like if they actually talked about things for once)

Huh- that’s an interesting theory-

Patron saint of cute what-

The sound effects are so cool! 

Colin-?? My good sir-??

Oh it’s more normal-

Nvm

Man’s is speaking so fast-

I swear he didn’t talk that fast before- maybe that’s just the music

Shout out to all the people! Everyone did such a great job, and it sounds so cool!

[anxiousgirl]

15 things I don’t do anymore since my pre frontal cortex finally finished cooking

- drink alcohol. used to drink only a few times a year anyways so why bother at all when it’s literal poison

- ask for people’s attention. if it isn’t given freely, I actually do not want it lol

- speak my mind all the time. I used to put my foot in it a lot because I talked too much and didn’t think enough. I am much more reserved now

- say “yes” when I want to say “no.” I just say “no” now even if it means people feel uncomfortable or awkward. my boundaries are a work in progress and I take that work seriously !!!

- hang out with people whose values do not align with mine even if they are fun to be around. (I am talking fundamental values that should not be up for debate) at this stage) I will immediately ghost you if you turn out to be a racist, misogynist, homophobic, transphobic (or otherwise intolerant of other groups of human beings existing) and have virtually no regret about doing it

- Indulge in or engage with “toxic positivity” … no room for platitudes, I want a realistic view. I don’t need pessimism either but I need the truth lol just reality please, thanks

- argue with anyone who refuses to see nuance in a topic or consider another pov

- argue with anyone who has a temper issue! haven’t done that in years but my gossssh what a waste of time to argue with someone who is coming from such a reactive and emotional place lol

- go bowling. I really hate bowling. I like the first 3 rounds and then I am just dying to get out of there lol

- ignore my own gut instincts. the amount of times I ignored my gut in my twenties is asinine! could have saved me so much grief had I just listened and trusted myself more

- neglect my family for the sake of a romantic relationship. I am so lucky to have a close family who welcomes my partners and my sister’s partners with open arms and I used to just ignore them a lot of the time 😭

- neglect my mental health or try to hack it on my own like some sort of witch doctor. when you’ve got CPTSD and anxiety issues (me) professional help is the right move. the internet cannot heal me and neither can daily supplements lol I go to therapy and therefore am calmer, more functional and organized (at least when it comes to my mental health lol)

- assume that a boyfriend will solve my problems lol I used to think that getting a boyfriend was all I needed to solve this deep-seated wound of unworthiness that I carry around with me. god I was dead wrong. no other human being can solve your inner wounds but you. so a bf has become less appealing to say the least. I still want one day cuz I’m a romantic sensitive silly little girl but maybe when I am of a saner mind lol

- put much stock in anything unkind said to me. I’ll take constructive criticism all day long but the moment someone is unkind or rude to me I file it under “projection” and disregard it because there is seldom a valid reason to be blatantly unkind when expressing even a negative opinion to someone

- assume I won’t run into people I used to know in public. I have learned you must always be prepared to run into anyone out there lol a coworker, an ex’s roommate, an old teacher, the guy who SA’d you… this city is too small. Always prepare to flee lol

[bikananjarrus]

i rewatched episode 4 of ahsoka (bc i wasn’t super focused the first time) so here’s a little review in bullet point form!

(this got kinda long i’m so sorry. i love complaining lol)

starting with things i liked:

-finally seeing sabine actually fighting in her mandalorian armor! it felt like the sabine we know and love

-the ghost!!!!!! THE GHOST MY BELOVED!!!!!!! prettiest ship in star wars fr

-seeing jacen again! literally he is my baby boy 💚 (also the “mom…I’ve got a bad feeling” like yeah 😭)

-ahsoka pulling the ‘obiwan dealing the killing blow to maul a la twin suns’ move on marrok was good and the fight choreography with baylan was solid i thought. you could feel the weight behind him and ahsoka’s moves

-baylan and shin’s outfits are so cool

-i like sabine’s move to go with baylan and shin a lot

-the wbw looks quite pretty in live action, i will admit. like how the path glitters like stars and that fade in shot from the water to the stars? very good

-anakin!!!!!! HAYDEN ANAKIN HI BESTIE HELLO HI! also hearing hayden anakin say “snips” 😭😭😭

things that i didn’t like and am here to complain about:

-ahsoka telling sabine that if they can’t get the map back they should destroy it, and thus destroy the chance at finding Ezra ever. Now. This is practical, and I don’t really dislike it for that reason. And I think as far as it goes for Ahsoka’s character, trying to fall back on old jedi ideals of not choosing attachments, choosing the greater good, this also makes sense. it just, idk. there’s something about it that is irking me

-the absolutely terrible writing for hera’s role as general. there was that whole line about “i’m a general, nothing’s classified to me” in ep2, and now with the disobeying orders and telling that lieutenant to cover for her and telling jacen that when he’s a general he can disobey orders too. that would literally just not fly in a military organization. and character-wise, hera is all about protocol and setting a good example in the rebellion, this is NOT hera and it just makes her look bad.

-baylan’s random “witchcraft” comment towards morgan. a) wouldn’t it have made more sense to put a line like that in ep2 when she first showed him the sphere? and b) just felt like a weird comment in general? the nightsisters have a relationship to the force too, and baylan is old enough and seems old school and sentimental enough to respect that, not look down on it. Just odd.

-the dialogue in general this ep just felt so clunky and shallow to me. There was no depth to hardly any of the conversations, even ones that should’ve had depth. I thought ep3 improved on the dialogue slightly, actually putting emotion into, and making it feel like the characters had relationships with one another. and in this ep it just felt so rehearsed again.

-relatedly, sabine kept saying things in her dialogue that gave away key information (“go get the map”, hera’s name, etc.) and it was so frustrating! on a character level, sabine is smarter than that. on a technical/craft level, the dialogue is just not thought out.

-also related to the lack of emotion, it was written in a way that we get almost no reaction from sabine when ahsoka says that they may have to leave ezra behind for good (despite the fact that we find out later in the ep that ahsoka let sabine down in some capacity when it came to sabine helping her family). And when it came to sabine’s family, almost no reaction there either! absolutely no shade to natasha, i think she’s doing a fine job. i just don’t think filoni knows how to write sabine. Or women in general.

-not sure how i feel about the rest of baylan and ahsoka’s confrontation. i feel like we’re supposed to feel more, especially with the “anakin spoke highly of you” / “everyone in the Order knew anakin skywalker” and baylan mentioning ahsoka “abandoning” anakin (which, starting to beat the dead horse with that one filoni. that theme has come up before and been done better, ie when it was done in rebels!). like maybe if baylan and ahsoka had talked more about being masters themselves or the end of the clone war (since they’re both survivors), something! we could maybe establish more of a connection, since it seems like they’re supposed to be fools (like sabine and shin are being set up to be).

-marrok. The move ahsoka pulled on him was cool, but otherwise, why was he here? Also reanimated nightsister or some other dathomir ghost?? I’m guessing that’s what the green smoke was? weird. fine, i guess. But just like what was the point of having marrok around when we already have baylan and shin and morgan?

-“your legacy, like your master’s, is one of death and destruction.” ???? i’m not sure exactly what this is supposed to mean????? any harm ahsoka has caused (intentionally or unintentionally) in her lifetime is nowhere near, oh idk, the fucking child murder???? and murder of all the jedi???

-the dialogue in this ep is just SO baffling.

-ahsoka automatically assuming sabine was dead when she saw shin (like girl can’t you sense that sabine isn’t dead??) and then getting all angry when she fought back at baylan again. it’s giving copy-pasted kanan (briefly) thinking ezra was dead in fire across the galaxy, but the worse version. kanan did it better <333

-called this before the show even came out, but i fucking knew filoni was just going to write off Sabine’s family as dead (if he mentioned them at all, which tbh i’m a little surprised he didn’t forget about them entirely). i knew it was coming and YET. still disappointing bc i know they’re not going to address the deaths of her family or Sabine’s trauma in a meaningful, well-written way 🙃🥲

-hera being told that the enemy has a giant hyperspace ring and then flying right in its path and then not moving or telling her pilots to take evasive action when it was powering up. fucking ooc she’s a better pilot than that